Weathering the storm
So here I find myself, confronting another start of the month, you know “the days of the month” and somehow the feelings of depression, anxiety and a force to ruin everything in my life appears vividly today. I had a perfect opportunity to go celebrate a friend’s birthday and go dancing, and guess what? I cancelled, because I was furious at my husband because I was mad at the entire world and because I had realized that it is all because this time of the month that makes my hormones act up like crazy. To feel unwanted and alone turning every situation against my own self.
So how do I go around this day, feeling sad and miserable, staying away from friends and family so I don’t ruin their day.
It is not an easy place to be and I wish it to be over soon, perhaps I am writing this because I want to feel I am not alone.
I feel you darling, I have had PMDD for a long time and I've been in many grueling fights because of how I feel in those 1-2 weeks leading up to my period. It can be like being in the throes of the worst depression, every single cycle. I've tried SSRIs, and I did feel like I had fewer mood swings but I hated not feeling like myself. It's personal though so you could definitely talk to your therapist/gynecologist/psychiatrist about it. Cimiciguga (black cohosh root) helps me a bit and is not too expensive to order online. There's also the r/pmdd subreddit where people with PMDD share their experiences and tips!