Tone policing centres white comfort
how it shows up in everyday conversations and posts on social media
๐๐พ "Why do we have to use this term?"
๐๐พ "Can we change the language anti-racists use?"
๐๐พ "These are exactly the terms we shouldn't be using."
This is tone-policing because even though anti-racists may not be upset when using these terms, they are perceived as inflammatory.
I get that these terms aren't pleasant to hear, but I need everyone to understand something:
Changing the terminology does not change their impact on Black, Brown, and mixed-race folks. A pig with lipstick on it is still a pig.
So when racially marginalized people describe their experiences using these words, please stop with the 'can you say it a little nicer' finger wagging. No one is suggesting being white is bad. Or that all white people are bad.
If you are more concerned with a person's terminology than their discrimination, it makes you sound less compassionate. The last thing someone needs is for you to dismiss their marginalization because you hate how something sounds.
If terms like white supremacy, white privilege, and decentering whiteness makes you upset, that is the perfect opportunity to practice emotional intelligence by asking yourself 1) what are you feeling 2) why you are feeling it and 3) and how you can navigate through it. If you cannot or do not want to, keep on scrolling.
~ From Paul Ladipo
Anti Racism Educator

Sadly I continue to experience white centering and tone policing in our community and on social media from our white community sisters when discussing racism. We will be using the examples in future workshops so that everyone can learn from these hurtful mistakes and most importantly learn how to repair the harm caused.