Attending the grief workshop was a grounding experience. The cozy setting and the diverse group of women created a welcoming space for all of us to grieve in our own way, and the shared vulnerability reminded me of the universality of grief, no matter our backgrounds.
My intentions going into the session were twofold:
1. to better understand and accept the role of tears, and
2. to process the (collective) grief and stuck emotions I’ve been carrying. By the end of the session, the two intentions were fulfilled.
I often struggle with being emotional, especially in formal settings where crying can be seen as a sign of weakness or unprofessionalism. However, Essenam reframed my perspective on tears, encouraging me to see them as a powerful tool for release. She explained that tears are a way to process emotions and facilitate transformation, allowing us to move through grief and emerge renewed. This simple yet powerful insight was liberating for me.
Essenam also emphasized that grief isn’t limited to the loss of loved ones; it has many layers:
1. The small, everyday losses that accumulate without us realizing.
2. Larger losses – people, dreams, or things we’ve deeply invested in but lost.
3. Generational grief, inherited from our ancestors.
4. Collective grief, acknowledging the global pain we are all tied to, which is especially relevant in the face of today’s genocides and injustices.
I could recognize personal struggles that covered all these layers. The past few years, particularly the last one, have been stressful in many ways. There have been regular microaggressions, occasional reminders of the system that I am a ‘lesser human,’ and fears of livelihood losses, e.g., financial insecurities, deportation fears, etc. Additionally, I have a growing fear of losing my time and place with family and loved ones at home. On top of it all, witnessing the horrors unfolding in Palestine, Lebanon, Sudan, and Congo has laid bare the stark double standards of human empathy and the cruelty some display toward lives resembling mine. This has left me feel raw and helpless. Understanding that grief isn’t limited to death and recognizing the many reasons I should resort to it is a meaningful step toward healing.
Finally, a key takeaway was the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve, not only for our own well-being but for those around us. Unprocessed grief can spill over and affect others, making it a shared responsibility to heal. This experience reaffirmed that grief is both a personal and collective process, one that, when embraced, allows us to release, heal, and eventually find joy again.