Our community

Thank you very much for starting this community and for making it a place where we can heal together and where we can prevent traumas.

I know our beloved community is focused on healing trauma. In this case I want to tell you a story about how this community and its resources helped me prevent a trauma for myself, but especially for my daughter. How? Thanks to this community, its Workshop with Dr. Robin and the self help books, I was able to look fear in the eyes, to feel all the feelings and with the help of all the things I learned, to let the energy flow, to not get stuck in a freezing response.

On a Saturday I went with both my kids to a local pool. Nothing unusual about this, I do this often. We had fun in the water, my kids made me dinner out of water: I was served ice and pommes and a lot of soup carbonara with strawberries. I know, it sounds like 5 star Restaurant 😃.

When it was time to leave, we went to take a shower (the family shower is near the big pool, maybe 2 meters). My son (7 years old) went in the shower cabin, my daughter (2,5 Years old) was near me looking at the kids playing. I bent over to get the shower gel to my son, went in the shower cabin to give it to him and when I came back (it took me maybe 5 seconds) I was unable to see me daughter. I started calling her, I looked at the kids area, at our chair where our stuff was. She was not there. The Bademeister asked me: who I am looking for and how old she is. I told him and he went directly to the pool, jumped in and got my daughter out. She was immersed in water, trying to come out. No, she did not have a west on because we were about to take a shower. He gave her back to me. She was not crying she was just saying she wanted to see the water. I estimate she was in the water for 10-15 seconds. She was a little bit scared, but not much. When we play in the water, I sometimes let her slip (intentionally) so she is not scared under water.  

Here come the community resources in:

My reaction: I took her in my arms and hugged her, holding her tight and telling her that everything is alright.

A few moments later I let her sit on the edge of the pool and I jumped in and told her to come with me. She jumped into my arms and we enjoyed the water for minute or so, while telling her she must be with me or her father when she want to go in. à all good here.

I stayed calm and managed to take both kids home.

At home, she told my husband what happened, we talked about it and after I put her to sleep and I was sitting in the dark, I started to cry and let my feelings out.

Like in the “3 zones” exercise from Dr. Robin, I put my hand on my belly (this is where fear manifests itself in my body) and on my heart and said: “Please help me! I need a hug!”.

That is when I was able to see myself, at 5, 12, 22 and on the day I gave birth to her. I told all these versions of me that I know they were scared too. We are alive now and I am here for them.

I also thanked God and the Universe for keeping my daughter safe.

When she woke up the next day, after sleeping through the night, she said she wanted to go swimming. à I am very happy she did not show any signs of fear.

On Monday, I had my therapy session where I talked about what happened and that I keep seeing her under water every time I close my eyes.

My therapist told me I am not alone, that there are people there for me, that I am part of something bigger than myself. I felt seen and understood.

A few hours later I took my daughter swimming, where we met the Bademeister that got her out of the water. We brought him a big box of chocolate. I cried in his arms and thanked him for saving her.

I then went with her for a swim exactly where she felt in the water and I felt such a relieve that I have her with me.

After this day, now when I close my eyes I see her playing in the water, having fun.

I was so compassionate towards myself.

I am currently reading the community book “Waking the Tiger”. I feel I did right by myself and my daughter and most of all I was brave in dealing with a potentiality traumatic event. Felling brave after such an event, is a sign of healing (“Waking the Tiger”).

So, thank you for existing in my life and for giving me the resources to deal with old and potentially new traumas.

Bianca

P.S.: it was not an easy story to write. I am strong and try to do the best for me and my kids and acknowledging that I might have put (unintentionally) my daughter in jeopardy is hard.